Decisiveness

Decisive adj. 1 Having the power to decide; conclusive 2.Characterized by decision and firmness ; resolute. 3. Beyond doubt; unmistakable:

I am coming to the conclusion I am not a decisive person. I can go back and forth in my mind a hundred times a day about something. I realize that how I feel, what kind of day I have had with the kids, if I slept well or at all has a lot to do with this undecisiveness I am having about this adoption. It was so clear for me when we were going internationally. The plan was laid out for us so it seemed. Now, I am not so sure. I look at the site adoptuskids.org and look to see is there a possible match for us there? How will I know? If I check on one and the answer it no, do I just keep on checking each child? Is that God's plan? Again, the financial aspect was brought up now that the home study is ready for signatures. Will we be able to have $15,000 in hand at any moment because that is how fast it could happen. Not at this time do we have that so I was encouraged to check out the website again because those kids are in foster care and the cost if very minimal if any cost at all. How do you know? These questions and doubts keep coming to me over and over. If God had this planned for us would we have the money by now? Is this our own desire and not His? I am praying for clarity and for God to show us the way clearly to the child he would have for us. I can't imagine stopping at this point. I can't imagine what the kids would think and learn if we did that. I also believe a baby would be heavenly. Please pray for clarity and decisiveness. God will show us. I am thinking I need to be still and listen to Him.